1- An assistant seller presented a vacuum cleaner to a lady.
Before doing his demonstration, he put a lot of dust on the moquette and said with enthusiasm :
- I will eat all dust that my vacuum cleaner doesn't suck up !
The lady went to the kitchen, took a spoon and gave it to the assistant seller.
- Enjoy your food ! We don't have electricity since 2 days !!!
2- A man who wants to have his own garden but who doesn't know about it went to a bookshop and asked a book which is full of advice. The seller gave him one and said :
- This is the best ! Read it so you will finish the half of your work !
- Ah ! Good ! Very good ! ... Give me two of it please !
3- A man who buys and sells old bottles and old clothes arrived at an old lady.
- Do you have old bottles of wine or old bottles of bier Maam ?
- Do I look like an alcoholic !? Answered the furious lady
- Oh ! I'm sorry Maam ! Perhaps do you have old bottles of vinegar ? ...
4- In the States, a lawyer (a barrister) put on his plate : two questions for 2000 USD.
A man was amazed, so he opened the barrister's door and asked him :
- 1000 USD for one question !!! Is it not too expensive ?
- No ! It isn't ! ... And what is your second question ? ...
5- A fat lady walked at the zoo, stopped near a hippopotamus and asked the zoo guard :
- This hippopotamus, is it male or female ?
- Madam, this question interests only hippopotamus !
6- I'm sorry told the surgeon to his patient after his operation. I have to operate on you again.
Why !!?? Answered the patient.
- Because I've forgotten my rubber glove in your stomach.
- It's not a reason ! I give you money to buy new rubber gloves ! Here and bye !!
7- Why are you here ? Asked the surgeon to another patient.
- Because I prefer cotton socks than wollen socks doctor.
- Stupid ! Me too, I prefer cotton socks than wollen socks !
- Ah ! And between us doctor, do you like them with vinegar sauce or just with a lemon juice ?
8- A man couldn't sleep at night & went to a doctor.
- I suggest you an old but efficient method. You go to bed and you count : one, two, three, four, five, etc. ...
You will see, it's very efficient !
- I've already tried it doctor, but I'm a boxer, so at nine I stand up !
9- It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours ; he can't drink for eight hours ; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work ( William Faulkner )
10- We get what we search ! Listen to this story. Two men were sent in Africa to try to sell shoes.
The first one said in his telegram : « I go back immediately, there is no chance here because nobody wear shoes ! »
The another one wrote : « Send me immediately a lot of shoes ! there is a big opportunity here because nobody wear shoes ! » ( Rudi Lack in Wegweiser ins Leben )